addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
