i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize