Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
