So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
