She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
