Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
