R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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