im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
