Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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