Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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