btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
