My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
