this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
