Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
