I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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