Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
