Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize