she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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