I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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