We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
