butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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