i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
