IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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