you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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