quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
