i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
