You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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