Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
