I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
