im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize