i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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