Me too!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
