I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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