I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
