I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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