What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
