i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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