Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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