Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize