all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
