Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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