Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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