i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
