Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
