First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
