Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
