somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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