Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize