Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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