i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
