So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize