More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
