so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
