We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
