can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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