I wanna bring you to show and tell
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
