I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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