she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
