I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
