If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
