My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize