Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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